Happy Father's Day!

trip to the lake

water was a little cold for Pork

sand fights

relaxing with daddy

and wondering why he is so sweaty :)

Baywatch recreation lol

no age or height restriction? game on!

Yep, that's our little speck

proud daddy moment

Our very own little hurricane

Buttercup and Wesley

Ever since we went on vacation and SweetPea watched the movie "The Princess Bride", we have been inundated with requests to legally change the names of our two youngest children to Buttercup and Wesley. SweetPea goes through many days where she will only answer to her self-appointed nickname and requests that you call Pork by Wesley. She has gone as far as introducing herself by this new name, attempting to write it on her lessons and scolding me for calling PorkChop by the "wrong" name. To be honest, I find it insufferably cute that she has developed such a liking for a character. At the same time, I get enough weird looks without people wondering why I chose to name my daughter Buttercup.

Dueling to a "draw"

Tonight, while forcing Wesley to carry her baby for her (since Buttercup is a princess and Wesley just says "As you wish" which really means "I love you"), I made him a little cardboard sword so he could be happier. Didn't last long before Buttercup insisted that she needed a sword too but that hers needed to be longer and thinner and not so black in the handle.

The two then raced outside and proceeded to duel. Didn't last too long before Wesley's sword was quite a bit crumpled and Buttercup noticed that her sword was better for drawing pictures in the sand.

I am pretty certain that I am going to have to resign myself to a future of grandkids with names like Indigo, Humperdink, and Wesley. :)

change of plans (and scenery)

I am adult enough to understand that sometimes, things change without a moment's notice. Like today for example... Hubby got sent out on the road. With his hours being so short lately, we all need to be grateful for the extra time. Unfortunately, that extra time means that he wasn't here for lunch (or dinner), something that really upsets SweetPea and PorkChop. It also means that Punk's appointment had to be rescheduled until the end of this month. Right after track ends, in fact. Punk is insisting that while he is upset that he has another eleven days in his cast, that he is ok with missing all but the last two soccer games. He is not so cool with not getting to compete in any more track meets though. I wish that I could do something more for him.

New favorite activity... feeding the geese

To make up daddy being gone for lunch with the littles, I organized a trip to the park to feed the wildlife. Pork was REALLY excited and even managed to say "ducks" and "geek" (geese). I am totally enamored with his growing vocabulary. And while its still very lacking, each and every new word is like a song to my soul. It makes my heart grow bigger and a smile just as wide to cross my face. SweetPea enjoyed getting to bring a picnic lunch with us and shared more of her sandwich with the ants than she did with her own stomach.

Another treat since daddy was gone... I hooked up and ran the sprinkler for the first time this year. Last year, Pork was ok with looking at it but this year, he had fun filling his little water can and proceeding to dump it on his unsuspecting siblings. SweetPea and Peanut still lack the finesse of truly playing in the water.... preferring to run along the very edges and barely get their legs wet. Punk even joined in for a bit, complete with a plastic bag over his cast to keep it protected.

Dinner was our third treat. Knowing that meal times are always eaten around the family table, I decided to host a dinner a la fresco style in the backyard. Punk ate at the picnic table, Pickle decided to use the clubhouse and the three youngest ones took to various spots in the yard, moving whenever their "wolf pack" became threatened by a mom with a camera.

It might not have been the way the day had been planned to go, but it was sure a great bit nicer than all of us moping around the house for different reasons.

and away we go!

Our first big ride of the year with friends.... Our last big ride of the year with said friends. lol The joys of expanding your family during the summer months. Take it from someone who has birthed twice (technically) in the summer, once in the spring and once in the winter... Spring and winter babies are the best if you love outdoor activities. And depending on what those activities are, winter babies might be the best. Ok, winter babies are the best for me since one of my favorite things to do is our family bike rides. And bike riding while pretty pregnant just isn't always the most fun thing to do.

Riding around for almost 20 miles with your pregnant buddy, both your husbands and both your toddler boys makes for some fun times. And some really stressful, annoying ones too. But I tend to try to focus on the good times. Who cares how fast someone went when its all said and done? Who cares how many times you had to stop and try to find a decent bathroom (and might I add that they don't really exist at huge state parks!) because really? Asking for a clean bathroom with doors might be asking for too much.

What makes it worth it is accomplishing your goals and spending the time outdoors with friends....

Biker Buddies (the young edition)

I can only imagine that those two little faces really didn't care about much other than the fact that they got to play at the park. They had a blast going up and down hills that left all the adults panting, sweating and sometimes, stopping and throwing their hands up in momentary defeat. Watching these two little boys go up and down the slides, attempt to "walk" across the plank bridge, make music on the giant organ... those things are what is worth remembering.

I know that not all our rides this spring/summer will end up like today. I know that some will be much more physically challenging while the majority will be a cakewalk of a ride. I know that we won't get to go out with our riding buddies again until next year when both them and ourselves will have a matching set of littles (just differing ages), stowing behind in the trailers. But for a first (and last) ride of the season, today was perfect!

its a dirty job, but someone has to do it

Having a large family, I try my hardest to teach my children the importance of being kind to the Earth. I know that large families leave a large carbon foot print so I feel extra responsible for raising green-conscientious children. I try to buy more "real" food than processed food (although I am far from perfect), I look for the least packaging that I can get with our produce. We recycle everything and anything that our city will take back (which is actually a fair-ish number of items). We use our yard waste, instead of disposing of it through the yard waste removal program. Most years, we garden (sadly, it looks like its just not going to happen this year due to money issues). And now, we are getting more serious about composting.

Start them young and make it a habit

For some reason, composting is one thing that kind of worried me. I have had no problem making my own laundry soap for the past three years. I love our cloth in the bathroom and for diapering needs. We don't buy paper plates, cups, napkins, etc even when bbq'ing.... we just make sure that we are prepared for the onslaught of dirty dishes. But for some reason, the thought of using every piece of fruit core, every single egg shell, every scrap of peeled veggies just made me.... I don't know? Feel like I was leaving a mess instead of cleaning it up? Turning our backyard into a dumping ground? Giving the dogs something else to dig up and eat?

But in actuality, its easy. Most of the kids don't even mind helping with the turning, digging, raking, watering.... They volunteer to take the scraps out and are actually pretty impressed by the subtle color changes in the dirt that we have already seen this past year. I am pretty impressed that after the first few times, the dogs have learned that the compost area doesn't contain meat, hence there is not a single thing of interest to them. And most importantly, it hasn't seemed to attract the local wildlife that I was worried would be invading our yard for an easy meal.

I won't say that I am an expert on this, because I am far from it. I won't even say that I am really a novice since I am totally learning as I go. But I will say that I am proud to be the parent of child that asks if waste can go in the compost, recycling or if its ready for the garbage. And I am VERY proud that for a family of seven people, four pets and a wild life, that we only throw out maybe three garbage bags a week (and that's mainly because when the rabbits' cage gets changed/cleaned out, the garbage bag goes out too, full or not).

here we go again.... hmm hmm... catch us if you can

Miracle of all miracles.... the orthopedic surgeon had a cancellation today and could fit Punk in. Which was not a moment too soon, from my stand point. Even sending  note to school from hubby and I stating that Punk was NOT to participate in gym because of the injury, sending Punk to school wearing a brace to keep his wrist in place.... the gym teacher decided that since it wasn't an official doctor's note, that he not could but WOULD participate in gym class. We picked him up for his appointment and he showed us the lovely new raw patch on his knee from where he fell and proceeded to slide in gym to keep off his hands. Apparently, only a doctor can keep a student out of a class. Not a parent with the knowledge to know that a radiologist told you NO activity until the bone is set, not the student with the broken bone... only a doctor. So frustrated with schools right now.

Trying to make the most of things

X-rays done today showed the buckle fracture much clearer than the initial scans did. I am not sure if that's normal for them to show up stronger after a few weeks or if it was just because Punk had been (still was?) using the wrist. Good news though is that this bright orange cast (meaning caution... hazard boy coming through) should only have to be on until May 9. Then he might go into a fracture brace again or if enough healing is done, which it should be, he will be cast free.

Seventh grade and soccer just hasn't been a banner year for Punk. Three casts, two quarters of soccer played and one track meet. I am thinking that its pretty safe to say that he will not be returning to soccer next year. I think that we need a year break from, well, breaks.

Stay calm.... We got this

Eight days ago, Punk broke his wrist for the second time. Eight days. Do you know WHEN we can get him in to have it checked/casted? Another eight days. Ugh! I understand that the ortho/surgeon that we took him to the last time is busy but seriously?! Sixteen days of waiting for something that should take 2-3 weeks in a cast to heal? I am so beyond frustrated with this. I did call around and found somewhere that can fit him in on Friday. That's better... only two more days of waiting. I think that I can handle that better. Ok, so I HAVE to handle that better since I don't have a choice in the matter.

Pretty much sums up my mood.

Right now, I feel like life is a huge cycle of hurrying up to wait. Waiting for the ortho appointment so I can stop worrying that Punk is going to do more damage. Hurrying up and waiting for us to get underway on our next "project", which will be building the littles a set of bunk beds for their room. Hurrying up and waiting for hubby's hours at work to return to normal so we can get underway on our home projects. Hurrying up and waiting for spring.... Yes, an early spring was predicted this year and what did the littles and I find today when we went outside? Snow!

I am starting to think that this year is yanking my chain just a bit. I am not quite sure which cosmic power is having a good laugh at my expense but I am really hoping that I am giving them a good chuckle at the very least.

leap of.......

When you get a phone call from the doctor's office, its never a good thing. Just once I would like a doctor to call and say "Hello, I have good news. Nothing is wrong. Just wanted to tell you to have a blessed day." But nope, offices don't do that. Instead they call to tell you that they are sorry, but new appointments need to be made. Things get overlooked. Specialists need to be called.

walking on air

I really thought the call was about Pork. After all, two stool samples have been taken to the hospital and yet, no call has ever been given to us to let us know what the heck happened with his stomach/digestive tract over vacation. Best guess that I have now is that he must have picked up something from the petting zoo in St Louis. But it could have been norovirus or rotovirus as well. Not knowing why he had severe diarrhea for two straight weeks doesn't thrill me. But knowing that his body is healed on its own (apparently) makes me happy.

Speaking of happy, Punk is the exact opposite. After a wonderful track practice tonight, coming home with the expectation that he would be preparing for soccer, I had to break (ha ha) the news to him that we got a call from radiology today letting us know that he, in fact, DID break his wrist again. We need to now put a call into the orthopedic surgeon and have him re-x-rayed, cast, and pulled out of sports/gym until it heals. Wonderful.

The only good news that I could offer him is that they said that he most likely has a buckle type fracture this time. Which is a much quicker heal than his last break. We are only looking at 2-3 weeks instead of 4-6 weeks in a cast. Basically though, just long enough to take him almost to the end of his track season and about halfway through this season of soccer.

I am just concerned at this point that he has been walking around (running, stumbling, throwing, catching, etc) with a broken wrist for a week. I am really hoping that no further damage was done and that when he get in to the ortho, that it really is a quick heal. 

I hate making Punk unhappy. I hate hearing him cry because he is now missing out on everything that he loves once again because of a broken wrist. I really wish that there was some way that I could make this up to him but I know that having a mom hanging all over you, trying to cheer you up is just not the "cool" thing when you are 13. Instead, I have to just put on a brave face and allow him to work through the grief on his own. Hopefully, he will find his silver lining soon.

art imitates life

First things first.... a trip to the doctor ended up in the cards today for Punk. X-rays were taken and the doctor is pretty confident (99%) that he just sprained his wrist. HUGE sigh of relief! He is off gym for the rest of the week and was told not to attend Saturday's soccer game. He can still attend his first track meet on Monday and can go back to soccer on Tuesday. I feel SO much better knowing that everything is going to be ok and that he just needs to keep the wrist wrapped for a few days. Totally feeling like we dodged a major bullet this time.

Someone is going to be an amazing daddy someday.

The littles, totally unaware of any bullet  dodging, enjoyed a very pleasant morning outside with their paints. Pork, who probably was fondly reminiscing about our vacation this morning, just couldn't seem to leave little Yoshi behind. He found his sister's mei tai carrier and brought me the stuffed toy asking "Pack? Pack?" How can you say no to that?

I think that we ended up spending almost an hour in the sun painting beautiful masterpieces. Our art gallery hung on the garage all afternoon, waiting to dry. SweetPea had a blast painting her new favorite animal "black tip reef sharks" while Pork's art was a wonderful hodge podge of color on the paper, trees, grass, garage door, etc.

Days like today have me yearning even more for a consistent rise in temperatures. So hard to believe that this time last year, our weather had already had enough days hot enough to allow the kids plenty of water time. This year? Nothing yet. I know that its coming and that I need to be patient but spring sport season puts me in the mood for, well, spring weather. And I am not sure that the groundhog and I see eye to this year on what constitutes "spring".

springtime?

I thought, for some odd reason, that we would actually have a spring this year. I have pictures from last year from this time frame of the kids already enjoying water activities (let's face it... last year, our last day of "winter" was in the 80s and the littles had a fine time playing in their kiddie pool). I am SO thankful that come Friday, we will be headed towards warmer weather and 10 days without winter coats and hats!

Hurry up, springtime!

Pre-vacation exhaustion took its turn today and hit Peanut. She just couldn't get moving this morning so a personal health day for her it was. Can't say that my hubby was too thrilled with that but I didn't want to get going, she didn't want to get moving and it was just one of those days where fighting with her and using more energy just wasn't an option.

Instead, I put her to work. She helped me clean the house from top to bottom, do a bit of laundry so that way I am not totally overwhelmed on Thursday and then helped me corral the littles outside with bubbles.

Ah, the rapture of bubbles. Liquid soap in a bottle that can keep preschoolers and toddlers occupied by the minute. It helps them to keep warm when dealing with our finicky spring weather, helps them to keep active on days when mama would prefer to stay indoors bundled in a pile of blankets, and is great for amusing the neighbors.

I am making sure to pack a few things of these magical gems in our vacation rest stop party buckets. If they can bring this much amusement to our front yard, hopefully they will bring some calm to rest stops as well.

new beginnings

Today might have been a near perfect day. We had planned to stay home, do nothing, watch a movie and just relax. Instead, we heard that the weather was going to be beautiful and we just knew that we couldn't spend the day sitting inside, letting the mild temperatures go to waste. During breakfast, we threw the windows open, cooked and ate breakfast as a family, and planned our day.

What did we plan? Our first bike ride of the year! We LOVE biking and love trying out all our local trails (and are thinking about getting a rack so we can try out further our trails). Today, we did a short five mile ride but it felt wonderful getting out again. Hubby realized that its a bit harder pulling the littles this year than it was last and we are now talking about getting a second trailer so I can pull one of them behind me.

perfect memories

After biking, I convinced hubby to take the littles to the park. Anyone who knows my hubby knows that he is not a big fan of the park. So its not an every day thing that he comes along with us. But today, he did join us and he had as much fun as they did.

My little (to me) 19 month old son climbed to the top of the play structure ON HIS OWN! More than seven feet in the air and not a drop of fear on his face. Where SweetPea at this age loved swinging, Porker loves the slide! The higher the slide, the faster that he could swoop down, the better. SweetPea is still more cautious on the slides, preferring to slow herself down, where my little Porker flew off the slide more times than I could count (sometimes, even the correct way).

I am so longing for our weather to remain the way that it was today. Warm and mild during the bike ride, getting a bit nippy at the park but still decent. I feel myself waking up inside with each warmer day.

enough is enough

All week long, I have been driving myself nutty with this funk that I have been in. So today, when SweetPea did her daily weather report and we noted sunny skies and milder temperatures, I did the only sensible thing for all of us. I packed up the lessons early, bundled the littles up and we headed outside for some good ol' vitamin D fresh from the top.

It was one of those rare days when I decided that nap time could wait. That the dishes from lunch weren't going to go anywhere on their own. When I turned off the phone, tuned into my children and enjoyed the moment. I won't say that it was the end all, cure all for whatever is going on in my head right now but it definitely was a huge blessing.

Hit the road, Jack

Part of me cannot help but remember last year at this time. The weather was already warming up and we were spending more and more time outside. In fact, the last day of "winter", our temperatures were in the 80s and the littles were playing in the water. And not the half frozen water on the side of the house that they played in the other day but real, garden hose, icy cold water.

I need to look at this cold snap as a blessing though. Without it, I would be sorely tempted to start seedlings in the laundry room again. And going on vacation, its hard enough to find someone willing to watch all the animals, let alone my precious little seedlings. So I am half praying for the colder weather to stick around until closer to when we leave. Give me a small refresher day once in a while so I can be at peace outside but keep the temps down enough so I am not tempted to add  more onto my plate.

Its my birthday and I will cry if I want to

Yes, it IS my birthday but NO, I don't want to cry. Porker obviously does though and with good reason. Poor little man popped a fever out of no where tonight after dinner. By his old schedule, I am guessing that we are about a month early for this. But looking back, he had one at the tail end of December that broke in January (about four days of fever), one at the beginning of this month (about four weeks after the last) and now here we go again (about four weeks again). Not the way that I had planned to spend my birthday/weekend but what can you do?

Mama concurs

How else did I not plan to spend my birthday? Well, out in the slushy mess that we call a winter wonderland would have been one hint. But SweetPea wanted to make a snowman family and I wanted both the littles to see the fun of snow forts. Neither happened. Our weather has turned our snow into slush which didn't make anything "build" well. All it did was soak through all our snow gear and cause PorkChop to howl unless he was in the swing... Which made SweetPea howl. Howling kids makes way for barking dogs which means WAY too much noise for the mama. So inside we went after only about an hour of fresh air.

I couldn't get our PS3 to work so my idea of movie time didn't make it either (the littles had been playing with some cardboard boxes that we were going to use as "cars" for a drive-in style movie) so I let SweetPea take her pick of OnDemand shows (Too Cute, anyone?).

Even tonight conspired against me. I LOVE watching Grey's Anatomy on Thursday nights. Its my one true "me" break where I can sit back, relax and thoroughly lose myself in characters that I have been living vicariously through for the past nine years. Yeah... it's on break until mid-March. Which means that I am going to end up missing a show on vacation and will have to try to play catch up to watch it when we get back.

Not everything went badly though... Hubby DID manage to get off work about an hour early so he made my birthday dinner (orange chicken stir fry). I got some girl scout cookies and even treated myself to some samoas (normally, I will not buy them because I will eat the entire box in one sitting... by myself... without pause). And this coming weekend, hubby has promised to make my choice of birthday cakes since I am not a fan of store bought ones. Now that's love... Mr Crocker in the kitchen learning how to make a carrot cake from scratch.

snow storm?

Well, I think that that might have been one of the most anti-climatic snow storms that I have ever witnessed. Yes, we got snow. No, I don't know how much. I think that we had about four inches on the drive this morning but I wouldn't hold myself to those numbers. It was hard to even measure since the snow was so wet and heavy. Beautiful packing snow but not so much fun to shovel.

This was our first good "snow" though this year. You know the kind (if you are from the area)... perfect for snowballs, great for shaping your forts or snowmen, a real pain to shovel or move... The perfect kind of snow if you have little  ones that cannot wait to do some "real" winter fun.

Frosty the snowman

Our poor Frosty didn't fare as well as SweetPea hoped though. First, we lacked coal or even little rocks for Frosty's eyes. I tried to tell her that we could make snow eyes but she remained pretty upset that our snowman wouldn't be able to see. We did have a carrot for his nose but PorkChop was pretty intent that that was for his eating pleasure. I finally broke it in half and made sure that each deserving "person" could get some but PorkChop then just happily ran off with both pieces. We also couldn't get our gate to unstick from the ground enough to get Frosty some stick limbs. Our poor, sad little snowman. Thankfully, SweetPea shared her favorite hat so he at least had some style.

I promised her that we could try again tomorrow when all the kids got home from school to see if we could make a new snowman in the backyard. So I guess that I have birthday plans now... more snow fun. Yay! For someone who hates winter, I sure have seemed to have spent my fair amount of time playing in the cold and snow this year.

the perks of being a homeschooler

I hear all the time from others how they could never homeschool. How they don't have the patience, how they need the break, how they are not "smart" enough, "educated" enough, to homeschool. How their children won't listen to them, how its too much of a hassle. Sometimes, just the plain truth... how they don't want to. For us, it works at times and at others, it hasn't. It worked well when Peanut and Punk were little.... up until Punk decided that he wanted to mainstream school (something that we always said that we would listen to our children on, as we do on most everything else). Around that time, I realized that I was in over my head with Peanut (mainly because I never learned how to properly deal with her and her issues). Right now, with SweetPea and PorkChop, homeschooling is what works.

But why? Why does it work? Do I ever feel harried? Do we ever have bad days? How do I deal with them?

manual labor

Homeschooling works right now because its all that they know. When the time comes for us to review our options, we will, once again, take their wants and desires into consideration. I would love to continue homeschooling throughout high school but I also want them to take charge of their own education. If I include them, they will want it. They will work for it. It won't be something that they "have" to do, it will be a choice that they made.

I oftentimes have to remind myself NOT to add stress to all of us worrying about what I think that she should know versus what she does know. Its hard learning to trust yourself as a parent. Its just as difficult learning how to trust yourself as an active "teacher" in your child's life. Every success is one to be applauded but when a temporary failure arises, its hard to let it roll off your back. I have had to remind myself, sometimes daily, that it truly doesn't matter if she doesn't remember/recognize every letter/sound/number that we have worked on. She just turned four. There is time. One day, I know that I will look back and wonder why I was so hard on the both of us. I taught Peanut and Punk to read.... I can teach SweetPea and PorkChop. 

On bad days, days when everyone seems to be moody and mouthy, when the littles just want to fight and bicker, when it seems like just "one more thing" is going to be the fatal blow, its time for some manual labor. Today? That was shoveling snow. Other times, its a game of dusting the living room, a dance party in kitchen, racing the ride-on toys down the hallway... something physical to replace all that negative mental energy.

And thankfully, since helping around the house is something else that they just "know", its not a punishment or viewed as a chore. Its something positive... they are HELPING. They are rewarding themselves and us with a change in the flow of energy. Just recently, SweetPea asked if she could have a chore since she felt that she was the only "big kid" in the house without one. Instead of complaining and viewing it as a negative, doing a chore and helping mom and dad is something reserved for those that are special enough to be chosen.

Someday, all this might change. SweetPea may decide to enter school. Our lifestyle could change and she may have to enter. We might have another baby and I might need the break from being the center of her world. Learning challenges could crop up that necessitate schooling for one. I am not going to live in the future of the maybes and what ifs. I am going to enjoy the perks of being a homeschooler now and live each and every minute with my children.

I interrupt our normally scheduled post to bring you

A snow day! ha ha ha ha!!!!!

There is nothing better than getting a text message at 5am telling you to go back to bed because school has been canceled! I was really starting to wonder when I went to bed last night because even though our local news was stating that we had a 50% chance of no school today, the snow that was supposed to have begun around rush hour still hadn't started. It must have been a little late blooming but that's ok, it did its job. About 6-7 inches of the soft white stuff fell in our area which was enough to cancel classes for the day. Happy Friday to me!

bewildered lol

Not so happy Friday was then dealing with five kidlets that wanted to do nothing but fight and argue. Pickle was bored and restless because school had been canceled leaving him with "nothing to do". Punk picked up on Pickle's mood since that's what little brothers do and proceeded to mope around the house as well. Peanut and SweetPea, being the only sisters here, decided that their time was best spent picking fights with each other. And poor little PorkChop, determined not to be outdone by anyone, took to throwing things at his siblings in a vain attempt to claim the title of biggest pain.

So what's a mom to do? Bundle everyone up and tell them its time for some manual labor. Driveway and sidewalk needed to be shoveled, a path needed to be made to the garbage/recycling bins, our outdoor kitties needed to have fresh food and a supply of water, along with a makeshift shelter to keep them dry. Pickle took to the sidewalks, while I started to tackle the drive. PorkChop grabbed a rake and happily moved snow back onto the driveway while SweetPea used a broom to knock even more snow back onto the drive. Peanut was nice enough to grab a sand bucket and proceeded to make snow castles right in my path and was even nice enough to cry heartily when I knocked them down. Punk just stood around looking appropriately broody with his hands in his pockets, announcing every few minutes that it was cold outside.

But at least we all got out of the house and into the fresh air. Everyone was constructive enough to stop bickering for almost an hour. And we managed to get most of the drive done before hubby made it home from out of state. I would say that Mission "Keep Mom Sane" was a success!

calm before the storm

Do you ever feel trapped in between what you know is coming and what you know is already behind you? Like the eye of a hurricane, you wait... knowing that you need to clear this obstacle before life resumes but you want to hold on to that moment of peace and respite anyway. That's pretty much where I stand today. I am looking back over 18 months of questions (ok, 16 months since the first fever hit at 2 months old... or was the first official one at 4 months? Which would make it looking back over the past 14 months... *sigh*) and standing at the doorway of answers. Answers because tomorrow at 230pm, we will be seeing the pediatric infectious disease doctor that will hopefully be able to start us on the road to understanding why our littlest bird "molts" every few months.

If outwardly I am calm, inwardly, I am a nervous wreck. I kept Peanut home from school today just because I was too lazy to get out of bed this morning. Ok, so I wasn't "lazy", I just hadn't slept yet. Poor PorkChop had bad nightmares half the night from his hospital stay. Couple that with not being discharged until midnight, it made for a LONG day turned LONG night turned into the next LONG day.

enjoying our last bit of spring weather

Thankfully, though, keeping Peanut home meant that I could deal a little more with the on-going fever without slighting SweetPea. She had a built in buddy while I waited for the motrin to kick in and lower PorkChop's temperature. It meant that, once he was feeling more like himself, there was plenty of hands to go around to keep him happy and occupied... which gave me more time to do a small bit of research online to familiarize myself with what his results were showing.

It also meant that I could be there for my three youngest when they wanted to go outside before our predicted rain/wind storm hit. Even though the three of them are anything but calm, they were a welcome calm in the storms in my head. Taking them outside, watching the girls ride their bikes and hubby pushing PorkChop around on his tractor gave me some time to focus. Time to rearrange my thoughts, figure out what I wanted to present to the doctor tomorrow, what I could skip, what I felt was important to share and what I felt would just be me rattling along.

I can look back at today and think of all the times that I was preoccupied with the coming whirlwind. Hopefully, my children can look back at today and remember that mom made them pizza for lunch. That she applauded their biking skills. That she stopped to watch the birds fly overhead while holding small hands in hers. I hope that they remember today fondly... as a day when mom gave them the chance to enjoy themselves without the bustle of every day life, even if mom's head was already flooding with information.

Tomorrow will be here before I know it. I will be entering the office of someone who might be able to give us some answers. Tonight, I do not feel ready but at the same time, I know that I am prepared.

I can face this storm and come out stronger. I can be the eye of the hurricane, for my youngest son. For him, I can fly.

about that lemonade.....

I think that I need a little tropical paradise in my life. I miss the sun and warmth. And I think that its starting to show. Three days in a row, I have now bundled up the babies to spend some time in the great outdoors. Today, I baked lemonade cupcakes. Tuesday, I have plans to bake lemon sugar cookies with SweetPea. I am debating adding a second cooking day to attempt to make some coconut lime cookies. Either I need to quit eating baking goodies all the time or I need to suck it up and get used to running through the snow. Not that I run. Prancing would be more like it.

Since hubby worked a full day yet again, I made sure to get up early to bake cupcakes with the littles. I thought that they would get a big kick out of a very light, refreshing cupcake. I should have just made chocolate... they might have been a better "kid" hit. To be more honest, I think that I need to perfect my raspberry buttercream because that might have made the cupcakes better. Or... I could just eat the cupcakes as "muffins" and skip the frosting all together. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

my very own Backyardigans

I even tried recreating our fun from yesterday. All three of us had a beautiful time outside, playing on the swings, chasing each other around the slide, kicking the soccer ball back and forth. Today, the wind was much more bitter and while the temperature was a bit "warmer", we were all well frosted much sooner. Which resulted in less fresh air, only mama and PorkChop enjoying the lemon-y treat and no real "family time". *sigh*

I know that its a rarity that hubby works the entire weekend unless we are on the road. And that doesn't help either since we were SUPPOSED to be on the road this weekend.... The last one, too. And for some reason, being separated all weekend isn't that big of a deal when you are somewhere new. Or at the very least, somewhere that's not the same old, same old. Hopefully, the super long hours won't last too long. And we will have our family time again. But in the meantime, I need to learn how to suck it up and move on.

Either that or maybe I will just go suck a lemon. Since life handed them to me anyway.

joys of winter

So what do you do when your entire day of plans gets changed at the last minute due to a project deadline at your husband's work? You make the best of those lemons by adding some snow, sun, and slush and make lemon ice. Mmm... lemon ice. I could go for one of those but instead, I will just drink my hot detox tea with a slice of lemon. And maybe dream about the lemon cupcakes I am making tomorrow. Or maybe I will go find myself a lemonade. Nah... I will just wait until summer when lemonade tastes the best.

But seriously, you do go outside and enjoy the weather. Especially when said weather is in the mid 30s after being miserably cold the entire past week. Not that PorkChop and SweetPea minded a bit being bundled up for the second day in a row so they could run and yell, hoot and holler, swing and slide.... And fly.

He flies through the air with the greatest of ease....

We ended up making it outside for about an hour before we were frozen through and through. But looking at the forecast for the week ahead, it looks like our snowy days might be numbered. For now anyway. Just for now. So for today, we enjoyed the sun and snow. Everyone says that I will miss this when the dog days of summer are here but I think not. I remember quite well the cold all year round. Me? I am like one of those lizards that needs the sun and a warm rock to be happy. Give me the summer heat, lazy breezes and a shady tree to read under and I am content.

Thankfully, SweetPea seems to be happy in the cold months and in the warmer. PorkChop is usually my little boy... he doesn't "do" cold well. But apparently, snow and cold is pretty fun as long as there are swings and slides involved. And balls. And sticks. Rakes. Rocks. Ice. Eh... at least he can make the best of any situation.

unexpected gifts

Every once in a while, you end up with a special gift. An unexpected pleasure that you didn't even know that you needed or wanted but that was just perfect when given to you. That was today.

Things started off rough... my lap top decided to go on the fritz for about the millionth time in the last few months. Our television's lamp decided to burn out right when we didn't have the money to replace it. PorkChop started getting junky sounding again after having been clearing up for a few days. Peanut returned to school amid protests and refusing to eat. Even SweetPea's lessons took a nose dive after having finally looking up. It was just one of those days.

But the temps were beautiful! Low 40s with some sun and, during the late morning and early afternoon, no winds. In short, the perfect kind of day to bundle everyone up to play in the snow before it melts away. And that's what we did.

the five P's and one frozen buddy

Its a rarity anymore that we can get all five kids involved in the same thing at the same time. And I mean REALLY involved. Sure, once in a great while, we can turn on a movie or a show and everyone will sit together. But its not really the same. And with PorkChop too little for board games (and hubby totally not a fan) and with Pickle and Punk feeling "too old" to "play" with everyone, family fun time is a hard thing to come by lately. But something just clicked today. Everything gelled just perfectly for all of us to come together and enjoy 45 minutes outside.

The older boys took turns first lobbing snowballs at everyone, then taking a bat and hitting said snowballs towards the trees. Peanut and SweetPea worked together to create the balls for the snowman's body. PorkChop ran between both groups, giggling, just happy to be outside and included. The two youngest took turns on the swings and the slide. The boys tried inventing new snow themed sports (snoccer anyone?). Peanut kept working on her snowman, diligently filling in the gaps made by SweetPea's over-excited fingers.

Almost an hour and I had five freezing Ps. But I also had five happy kiddos. And one pretty happy snowman (even if he didn't get the hot chocolate that SweetPea thought would make him smile). I didn't even realize how much I needed that family together time until we had it. And then? The bad from earlier in the day melted away. I didn't worry about the electronics that were giving me fits. Instead, I rejoiced in the warm embrace of our little family. Into the house for hot chocolate and chorizo chili, all of us went. Happy, pink from the cold, and more relaxed than we have been in a long time.

A very unexpected, but very much appreciated, gift.